Apart from that I’ve been trying out a couple of new TV shows. After four episodes of Dark Blue I’m really not sure it’s worth any more of my time. Having shouted at the screen twice for poor writing I’m not sure pushing on would be of much use. There’s no interesting overall arc just a motley collection of stereotypes. And it’s exec-produced by Bruckheimer so it’s very unlikely to ever tax my brain. Nah, it’s dumped.

The second show is Defying Gravity which immediately wins lots of brownie points for being sci-fi and populated with many faces I recognised from various shows and films. Like Dark Blue though, it loses points for poor writing. They might as well have had a character standing in the background of every scene shouting “There’s a mysterious entity controlling the mission! Why won’t anyone listen to me?”. Oh, and if your show is set in 2050, a ten dollar bet is very unlikely to seem worth it. Aside from that it remains reasonably interesting after two episodes so it’s staying on for the time being.

Bad Movie Roundup

Right, since I’ve got nine films I’ve yet to note down I’m going to do them in clumps. Clump one will be those that I’ve seen at the various bad movie nights around Edinburgh.

Last month’s Zombie Club consisted of two of my own discs; Contamination and Lifeforce. I’ve seen Contamination a couple of times but Lifeforce was a new one on me. Turns out it’s something of a favourite amongst sci-fi fans of a certain age as the leading lady is quite fetching and spends most of the film butt naked. The film is great fun and is shlocky, violent sci-fi of the highest order. I was laughing heartily as Patrick Stewart writhed around on the ground being possessed by aliens.

At the last B-Movie Club before the Festival, Gordon and I sat down to watch Shock Waves which is something that’s been on my To Watch list for many years. I really should have watched it sooner because it’s a piece of very entertaining shit but maybe being in the presence of other gore hounds made it that much better. Apparently, genetically modified SS troops like to lie down in rock pools and then sit bolt upright. Great stuff.

This month’s EZC only had one film screening due to a cock-up with reserving the back room of the Brass Monkey. It was my first Jess Franco movie and I now understand why some people were moved to sing “There’s only one Jess Franco!” at Dead by Dawn some years ago. Thank goodness! As I expected, the film is an absolute mess and a hoot at the same time. Franco, for some reason, likes to zoom in just about every shot and seems to do this manually causing the frame to jump around. Pat and I sat at the back of the room in fits of giggles, intoning “zooooom” every time it happened. It kept us entertained. As Pat said afterwards, “Franco has an amazing directorial talent in that he can make an eighty minute movie feel like two hours.”

Road Kill

Another Tony Elwood film (he who did Cold Storage from Dead By Dawn). Nice bit of low budget exploitation. A great turn from the head psycho and a fun way to spend ninety minutes.

Zombie Club double bill of Atlantis Interceptors and Demons. I’ve seen Demons before and it remains a great bit of nonsense which proves that when writer’s block strikes you just need to drop a helicopter on your location and all will work out fine.

Atlantis Interceptors, on the other hand, was a complete mess. It was as if three different films had been spliced together with the joins covered up with stock footage. To be fair, that’s quite possibly exactly what it was. Confusion was the order of the day as we all laughed along at the nonsense on-screen. However, it did feature some impressive stunt work with people jumping out of a helicopter onto a moving bus below. No jump cuts, just long shots of the helicopter coming down and people leaping out the open door onto the vehicle. Nice! I can’t say as it’d be worth sitting through the rest of the film for that though.

Wow, I think that’s it for the month. Slacker!

Ms. 45

I’ve only seen one Abel Ferrara movie before and that’s the very well known Driller Killer. It must have been while I was at school as I remember watching it on the portable tv in my room which was only there for about nine months. I clearly remember being very unimpressed, as I so often was (and am) with video nasties as I didn’t feel they lived up to the hype I’d given them.

This is the film Ferrara made after DK and it’s a much, much stronger affair. Playing a mute can’t be an easy role for any actor but Zoe Lund does well in what appears to be her first major role. Although this is probably classed as a drama movie, the concept is pure exploitation and I don’t think there can be any other description of a film which rapes its main character twice within ten minutes and in her first role.

Thana’s descent into vigilantism escalates nicely into a very bloody climax. I’ve avoided Ferrara’s work because of my earlier disappointment but after this I definitely need to seek out more.

Basket Case

A film I’d heard of and seen mentioned many, many but never got around to watching…for shame! This is a grade A slice of b-movie schlock. You know that self-referential crap that infected Planet Terror? Well, this film did it a lot better 25 years earlier. Henenlotter managers create a film that is at once an homage and a borderline spoof. Very highly recommended.

Black Book

I’ve been a fan of Paul Verhoeven ever since I watched Robocop at the tender age of about 12 (don’t tell my parents). It was around the time I was beginning to understand that what was behind the camera was important as what was in front. This is another solid film from him though not without its faults. The action appears to take place over a matter of days which stretches credibility in places. It is though, a lot of fun, well acted and with at least one trademark scene of ultra-violence.

Cashback

Laugh out loud funny in places, this British indie is destined to be one of those films which I’ll watch on a fairly regular basis and will feel as warm and comforting every time. Confusingly, the film appears twice on imdb. Watch it. Funny. Tits.

Two from this month’s Edinburgh Zombie Club.

City of the Living Dead

I should have seen this at my first Dead By Dawn all-nighter but it came on about 6am with a warning from Adele that the print looked like it had been attacked with sandpaper. So I left. Probably just as well since this makes little sense even for a zombie movie. The often mentioned drill/head sequence is pretty ludicrous though Catriona MacColl getting covered in maggots isn’t something you see every day. Most head scratching end to a film I’ve seen in a while. All the zombies appear to be dead but there’s lots of screaming. shrug

Cannibal Apocalypse

Not to be confused with Deodato’s Cannibal Holocaust, this is John Saxon and Giovanni Lombardo Radice (for it was a night dedicated to him) as Vietnam vets who return with a craving for flesh. Much better than the previous film this was definitely the highlight of the night. Kids, you gotta love ‘em.

Clockers

Not nearly as good as the book, ain’t it always the way. Spike Lee turns Rocco into little more than a cut-out and Strike seems thinner of character. Also, what’s with the train set? Where did that come from? If it’s in the book, I must have blocked it out.

The Incredible Hulk

I was one of the few people who liked Ang Lee’s version but I can’t say as I warmed to this one. The director’s swung in completely the opposite direction from the first film and made it all HULK SMASH! with less attention paid to character. At least, I think so, I kinda drifted off during it. Woo, a climax featuring two CGI monsters knocking lumps out of each other. Impressive, but not engaging.

Pat and Nick had originally toyed with the idea of showing two Argento flicks but I suggested that that might backfire in that people tend to love or hate the maestro and it was likely that people would have seen them before. So we compromised on showing Argento’s Opera and it would be preceded by Andrea Bianchi’s classic piece of exploitation Strip Nude For Your Killer.

I had a decent memory of what was involved with Opera and new it was a fairly safe bet but I hadn’t watched SNFYK in over three years. I’d forgotten just how much full frontal nudity there is in it from the start, which is a stupid thing to forget given the title. I felt slightly uncomfortable to begin with until the laughter started and everyone gave outward signs they were enjoying the film.

All in all, it’s a better than average giallo even if it could do with being trimmed by about ten minutes. There aren’t too many classic lines of dialogue in it (except for the final lines) but it does feature the brilliance of a killer clad in motorcycle gear who drives a car, the funniest scene you could ever hope to see involving a morbidly obese man in his pants blowing up a sex doll, Edwige Fenech and one of the best “Were they in the film at all?” reveals at the end.

Next month is to be “Mexican Doll vs Ape Blood Burrito Gore Night” which sounds interesting to say the least. Can’t wait to see what it actually means.